My best friend and my boyfriend were both autistic, both geniuses. I was the geniuses' assistant. At seven, they discussed high school textbooks while I organized their schoolbags. At seventeen, they were admitted early to a top university and casually chose a second-tier college next door for me. At twenty-five, they finished their doctorates and became the twin stars of a famous research institute. I was the receptionist. We shared an apartment. I handled the cooking, the cleaning, the schedules. I could never enter their conversations. Even my wedding became a place for them to discuss an experiment. "Chen Chuan, the ceremony is starting." I pulled him toward the stage. "What?" "The wedding." "I was not asking you." He did not look at me. He was staring at my best friend, Zhong Ke. "What were those parameters you mentioned?" Zhong Ke patted my hand and lowered her voice. "Do not be childish. We are talking about the experiment. You handle the guests." "It is only a wedding. We can have another one some other day." They went back to their data. Then, at the most exciting point, they stood up together and hurried to the laboratory. On the way out, they knocked over the champagne tower. I stood in the wreckage in my wedding dress. This time I did not clean it up. Another wedding? I did not need one. A genius's bride? I did not want that either. At two in the morning the door opened. They came in arguing loudly about parameters, waking me. Chen Chuan threw his clothes on the floor. "Xiao Yi, wash these. And make us noodles. Xiao Ke is hungry." He did not ask how the wedding had ended. "I am tired," I said. It was the first time I had refused.0

The next morning a typhoon hit. Rain lashed the windows. I hurried downstairs to catch a ride with Chen Chuan. I was only a receptionist, but we worked at the same institute. He started the car while Zhong Ke sat in the passenger seat, talking about a graph. I tapped on the window. He did not notice. The car pulled away. "Chen Chuan, wait!" I ran a few steps, slipped on the wet pavement, and cut my elbow. He did not see. When Zhong Ke was there, he never saw me. I wiped the blood and mud on my sleeve and limped to the subway. By the time I reached the institute, my shirt was soaked and my arm was throbbing. I sat at the front desk and answered calls. At noon Zhong Ke came out of the lab and asked me to bring tea to the meeting room. I carried the tray in. Chen Chuan and Zhong Ke were bent over a stack of papers. I set down the cups. Zhong Ke gestured excitedly and knocked one over. The boiling tea poured over my wrist and soaked into my shirt. I went white with pain. Chen Chuan pushed me aside and took Zhong Ke's hand. "Xiao Ke! Are you all right?" He checked her fingers, then the papers on the table, carefully, one page at a time. Only then did he look at me. "Can you not even pour tea? Do you know what her hands are for?" Zhong Ke noticed my arm. "Ah Chuan, Shen Yi is burned! Get the ointment." He frowned and pulled my arm over. When no one was looking, he blew on it gently.0

That evening the institute held a reception for the visiting committee. Chen Chuan and Zhong Ke were the stars. People crowded around them, praising their papers, their minds, their future. I stood by the wall with a tray of glasses. A reporter asked them, "Do you two ever think about marriage?" Zhong Ke laughed. "We are married to our work. If you are looking for a partner, find someone who shares your path." Chen Chuan spoke up. "I agree. Do not choose a burden." Burden. I set the tray down. For years I had tied their shoelaces, walked them to bus stops, cleaned their dormitory, nursed their fevers. I had given up my own life to keep theirs running. And now, in public, I was a burden. I walked out of the reception. No one noticed. I went home and opened my laptop. I updated my resume and applied for a job in Beicheng, a city eight hundred kilometers north. Then I bought a train ticket. That night I packed a suitcase and put it in the closet. I was not ready to go yet. But for the first time, I had a place to go.0